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'Martin at this point in time I think I have to tell you something that might interfere with our sexual and mental connection that we have found and experienced it over the last month ... '

'What right now Jose?'

' Yes ... I am HIV positive and have been for a few years!'

'Yeah Yeah Yeah ... that doesnt change anything as far as I am concerned ... we are both adults ... now lets get back to what we were doing!

I met Martin a few years ago when I was going through a stage of acceptance in regards to my future prospects of long term relationships ... I had accepted the fact that I had had my share of relationships long term or otherwise and was ready to move on from that stage...

My sexuality has always included a range of adventurous sex and fetish preferences. It was in a fetish community website that one night I connected with Martin and for some reason I knew that I had found something rare ... it wasn't just that our profiles and preferences matched perfectly but also there was a connection that to this day I cannot explain ... maybe in a past life we knew each other :-)

Martin was a incredibly attractive, intelligent man and a successful writer and lecturer. Shortly after we met online we decided to meet in person ... it was as if we had known each other for years ... our connection was as we intended it to be a purely sexual connection as Martin was a heterosexual man who had been married in the past and had one child ... I was completely ok with his past and we both knew what attracted us to each other ... the sexual and mental connection could not be denied or ignored by either one of us ... we both were of the view that life is too short not to follow your sexual desires and the animalistic instincts that we all possess.

I would drive to Newcastle every month and we would get together in a hotel for the weekend where we would explore and act on what we desired from each other ... our desires and fantasies became so connected and satisfied that our meetings became part of our lives. At the beginning of our first weekend together I disclosed as per the dialogue lines at the beginning of this story ... his acceptance of my status came as a realisation that disclosure can be an confrontational and very difficult but it can also be an emotional and gratifying experience when the person you have disclosed to accepts who you are as a person and not a status condition. A few bricks fell from the "stigma and discrimination wall" that day.

Our meetings continued for years after in places such as Newcastle, Canberra and Brisbane where he lived. Being a wonderful writer Martin would write and email me every couple of days with some amazing pieces of sexual and erotic writing that to this day I treasure ... one day I hope to publish the content of those emails on a blog for others to read and hopefully enjoy.

A few years back we both decided that for various reasons we should stop seeing each other but I know that we are still silently connected and lucky to have shared some wonderful experiences in our lives.

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